Life is not a yard waste nor a garbage.

If you want to throw it away, first
you have to find a recycle bin.

But didn't they said " you only live once ".
Maybe it's true.
Maybe not.

The YOU will live only once
but the Soul will live on.

Not as a memory, no,
that line is for a novel.
Not as a ghost, no,
that is for a horror movie.

But your Soul will live on
and off. Off and then on.
On and on.

It will never reach heaven.
Heaven has no soul.
Because everyone there is immortal,
Because the time there is eternity,
You will be immortal for eternity.

When you are immortal, you don't feel pain.
When you don't feel pain, you have no need for a soul.

Heaven has no soul.
A metaphor ?

The spider is in tune when the music is out of tune.

The spider isn't there

To harm.

It builded the web

of life

merely just to live

and

stay in tune

for the right moment.


Just like you.


Can you stay in tune

even when you are

out of tune ?


                  -08/26/11

" If we went up onto the roof now, " he said. " and I squeezed a drop of ink out of my fountain pen and let it blow against a sheet of paper, how great do you think the chance would be of the sentence I don't want Ada to stay with me  appearing in my handwriting? "

" That's impossible. "

" The chance isn't nil, but the universe is probably too small to contain all the ink needed before it happens. "


                             - Harry Mulisch

DIY - K(eys)W(allet)P(hone) Station!

KWP Station (2011)

07.24.11

  I felt so sleepy during driving today so I came home and slept like a log for an hour or so. It was another beautiful day; it was sunny out and the air gave out cool breeze. After waking up, I decided to go for a ride on my bike. I haven't ride a bike for awhile and got so tired after sat my butt on the seat for just several minutes. I had no plan in mind except for a change of scene and, just a little bit, I hoped to clear my mind. From what? I wasn't even sure myself. For the past couple months I have not been playing music at all. I think I'm going to UW for an IVA major. Interdisciplinary Visual Art is the full name. But I still got a funny feeling about it though. You know,  I always feel like I'm in the right place but at the wrong time. Sometimes I feel so tired of just being myself. Why is being myself so tiring? That, too, I wasn't sure. 

  Today I rode my bike down south from Greenwood toward Fremont. I have to tell you, sometimes I feel like I'm in a novel. Once in awhile, there is a sensation that I'm in a town where the people are so nice and friendly and everybody has a place and space of their own but sharing it with everybody else. You know, just like in an old european movie or in a novel where a protagonist lives in a small town where he knows everyone there. He knows where they live, what they do for living,  and what their personalities are like. And those people, in turn, know him as a child who grew up in this peaceful town.( but now we live in a neighborhood where we rarely know or care to know each other personally). You know, something like in Aesop fables. He would go to a grocery store and talk to the head clerk who owns and runs the place by himself( nobody in the business does that anymore) and he would walk to the flower shop where the owner is the old lady in her 40's who has a beautiful lovely daughter who the protagonist is secretly in love with.( the latter part is not always necessary..haha). Anyways, He would also walk further to the bakery or cafe where he would buy artisan bread that was baked using hand-selected ingredients and love in a room filled with hand-made tools and closed-friends. The chefs who are also town-folks would talk and fill each other with laughter while outside, through the open window, they can see and hear the songbirds singing in the tree and the morning sun would secretly peep through the window and partly shine on the table revealing the moment of nostalgia. You know, the same feeling one can get when listening to the music of J.S. Bach or Nobuo Uematsu. 

   Once in awhile, that kind of( not exactly but partly similar) feeling comes to me. When it comes, I feel like I'm the happiest person in the world and the city is like my closest friend who is somewhere between an asshole and a true companion. You know, the kind of friend that you get mad and get bored at sometimes but in the end you care for each other so much. 

   I rode my bike, stopped at Ken's market to get some energy drink and rode further to Fremont and got myself some awesome on-sale used Jazz records from Jive Time.

     The Dave Brubeck Quartet - Time Out -  $3

     Louis Armstrong - Rare Items(1935-1944) - $3

     Folksy Nina Simone( with my favorite cover of " Twelfth of Never ") - $ 18.99

     Fats Waller- Ain't Misbehavin' - $3

The Hipster Zen Poet ' Shuntaro Tanikawa'

**(Waku waku, Waku waku)**                          

If you get sad, you get drunk                           ถ้าเธอรู้สึกเศร้า เธอเมา

If you get drunk, you break out into song     ถ้าเธอเมา เธอระบายออกมาเป็นเพลง

If you sing a song, you start to cry                  ถ้าเธอร้องเพลง เธอเริ่มร้องไห้

You start to cry, but end up laughing             เธอเริ่มร้องไห้ แต่หัวเราะออกมาในที่สุด

--------------------------------

"At Midnight in the Kitchen I just Wanted to Talk to You" (1975) 

(in the manner of Charlie Brown)

Under the bed there's pair of comfortable old shoes       ใต้เตียงมีรองเท้าคู่เก่าที่แสนสบาย

and so again this morning I feel like getting up.              และอีกครั้ง เช้านี้ ผมรู้สึกอยากจะตื่น

Time is actually just like a clock:                                        เวลามันช่างเหมือนกับนาฬิกาจริงๆ

it works overtime and never gets bored.                           มันทำงานเกินเวลาและไม่เคยเบื่อ

Let's change the subject.                                                       เปลี่ยนเรื่องดีกว่า

Wind is flowing across the grass.                                        สายลมกำลังพัดผ่านต้นหญ้า

I see the same old familiar scenery.                                    ผมเห็นภาพทิวทัศน์เดิมๆ

It's not easy to change the subject.                                      มันไม่ง่ายเลยที่จะเปลี่ยนเรื่อง

---------------------------------------------------

" Songs of Nonsense " (1985)

Loquats                                          โลควอท( ลูกปีแป้ )

I eat loquats,                                            ผมกินลูกโลควอท

to do which                                               จะทำอย่างนั้นได้

I have to peel them;                                ผมต้องปลอกมัน

to peel them,                                            จะปลอกมัน

I need hands,                                            ผมจำเป็นต้องพึ่งมือ

and hands                                                 และมือ

need bodies                                              จำเป็นต้องพึ่งร่างกาย

while bodies of course                           และร่างกายนั้น

assume the world;                                  พึ่งโลก

for the world to exist                             การที่โลกจะมีตัวตนอยู่ได้

there probably need to be loquats.      นั้นก็จำเป็นที่จะต้องมีลูกโลควอท

Cursing the juice which stains               ออกปากด่าน้ำผลไม้ที่หกลด

my white linen pants,                              กางเกงลินินสีขาวของผม

I keep eating the loquats.                       ผมไม่หยุดกินลูกโลควอท

-------------------------------------

" Naked " (1988)                                      เปลือย ( 1988 )                   

Grandpa                                                                   คุณปู่

Grandpa moves very slowly.                                       คุณปู่เคลื่อนไหวอย่างช้าๆ

Even after he puts a box on a shelf                             แม้แต่หลังจากที่แกวางกล่องลงบนชั้น

his hands remain there.                                                มือของแกหยุดนิ่งอยู่ตรงนั้น

Presently he takes his hands away                              ขณะนี้แกเอามือกลับออกมา

and his arms hang limply at his sides.                        และมือของแกห้อยโตงเตงอยู่ข้างลำตัว

This grandpa, standing motionless,                            ปู่คนนี้ ยืนนิ่งไร้การเคลื่อนไหว

looks as if he might suddenly start shouting.           ราวกับว่าอีกไม่นาน แกอาจจะเริ่มตะโกนออกมา

An oak tree in the garden                                              ต้นโอคในสวน

is peeping in on him.                                                       กำลังแอบมองแก

Though he hears                                                              แม้ว่าแกจะได้ยิน

what the oak tree says                                                    สิ่งที่ต้นโอคพูด

he seems to pretend not to.                                           แกแสร้งทำเป็นไม่ได้ยิน

Last night I saw him bathing.                                        เมื่อคืน ผมเห็นแกอาบน้ำ

I saw his shrivelled thing.                                               ผมเห็นไอ้สิ่งที่เหี่ยวๆของแก

Grandpa, Grandpa,                                                          ปู่ครับ ปู่ครับ

please don't talk about the old days.                            ขอร้องว่าอย่าพูดถึงแต่วันเก่าๆ

Tell me how you feel now?                                            บอกผมมาว่าปู่รู้สึกอย่างไร ปัจจุบัน

What do you want most now?                                       ปู่ต้องการอะไรมากที่สุด ปัจจุบัน

Who's your favourite person now?                               ใครคือคนที่ปู่ชอบมากที่สุด ปัจจุบัน

------------------------------------------

All the poems are translated from English to Thai by me.

Excerpts from Selected Poems translated by William I. Elliott and Kazuo Kawamura

except  the poem **Waku Waku** is from the translation of 

Juliet Grames .